Wednesday, May 04, 2005

Consistency and Discipline

are very underrated as virtues.

Xofezura's third week on the RIFSP* has been very sad,
failing on just about everything.

In particular, Morning/Evening Prayer tends to turn
into a speed-reading exercise. Why spend 10 minutes
doing Morning Prayer properly when you can get through
it in 2? *sigh*

My mind wanders all over the place during the
Jesus Prayer. I was able to do 500 reps in traffic a
couple of times last week, but this week that has
fallen to maybe 30, because no sooner do I do two than
the "cares of the world" intrude.

I deliberately set the RIFSP to be not very hard, and
am amazed I cannot jump the two foot hurdle.

*Rule of the Imaginary Fraternity of Saint Pambo.


Blogger Oblate-Man said...

Don't beat up on yourself too much, Xofezura. Remember that this journey is not a sprint, but a marathon. And the goal is not have so many times of prayer, or so many hours spent. The goal is to make our lives more transparent and to live as fully as possible in the presence of God.

I do know how you feel. I haven't even done Lauds or Vespers since last week. Between schedules, some unresolved conflicts, and a general malaise, I'm pretty much a basket case right now. But I do know that God is not going to abandon me because I'm a spiritual slug right now.

Let's just uphold each other in prayer (yeah, I know- that's the problem), that we would both be more faithful, not to make a check on our list, but to truly rest in God's presence.

8:53 AM  
Blogger xofezura said...

Thanks, oblate-man.

I'm under the gun at the moment with a professional certification exam on Saturday, but will respond at length (ie, ad nauseum) after that.

The whole checklist thing is a big issue for me ... but let's see what St. Joseph of Panephysis had to say about it.

10:43 PM  
Blogger Sister said...

I blogged on this stuff a few days back, I am in the same boat but I am managing to do daily prayers faithfully twice a day, and manage to keep silence 10pm-8am almost entirely - the kids are mature enough to handle it. My problem is stopping my mind racing into the day first thing. Going for a walk helps, with the breathing prayers on the way.

9:55 AM  
Blogger atgnatus said...

10 pm! What are the kids doing up? I get mine down by 8 or so - I need the quiet time at night. Of course, they're up by 6 am. You're stronger than I am.

11:02 AM  
Blogger atgnatus said...

I haven't commented yet because I wasn't sure what to say. I'm glad I waited so I could read oblate-man and Lana's comments first.

God knows that we are sinners and that our best is not always what might be hoped. I think the important thing is that we try. That we continue to put one foot in front of the other only for the sake of faith, love and hope.

It sounds like those steps are similar but different for each of us. But we are united in our determination to struggle (or plod in my case) closer to God.

Hold on for a second ... Ok. Just a little prayer of thanksgiving and of strength for all us.

As for me, I manage a few hundred Jesus Prayers a day. I find them helpful. The number varies depending on how loud the demons are howling that day (or is it just me being weak?) Morning and evening prayers are hit and miss. We've just celebrated Easter so prayer and attending services has been better. I have a week that is completely fast free so I'm going to lunch.

May God Bless

11:17 AM  
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